Moody moody moody. Introspective and jumpy. Dreamy and scared.
Hurrruuumph.
Uni is difficult, Chem is hard, dropped Physics, good god what is that anyway?
Saw this on a girls blog:
And then I got all "remembery" and thinking about stuff.
I watched "Amelie" first when I was about 12 or so. I watched it, then went and sat in the garden for a little while. I came back inside and told my mother that I wanted to be Amelie. She frowned and said that it probably wasn't some I should aspire towards.
But I was swept up in this technicolor world, maybe where I could be this special, pretty, fragile little creature. This girl whose father wrapped her in cotton wool, where her imagination ran free and spilled rough and tumble into her real life, where quiet little gestures and the odd match making could pass without more than a slight murmur from her. Where people were not perfect, but they were there... and there was she.
Apart from it all, and living in a cloud of whimsy.
Maybe there I could just float away.
Instead I am me. I walk hard upon the ground. And my creme brulee never cracks properly.
Im cracking up I think. Maybe its a good thing.
I don't want to be a sad person. I dont want to be 'a depression'. Depression is middle aged ladies with bad haircuts, and 15 year olds sitting around in the car park wearing all black and comparing scars.
I just want to feel special. And actually feel it. To be able to actually accept it, believe it. That would be really something.
Anyway, in other news, I gave myself a haircut. Not too bad, I was sick of my hair. Yeeew.






